Jokes page 3


Secret Code:
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five your old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said and her mom responded "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter".
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now".
The child told her father, returning to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.
One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend," My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to her husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
Computer Acronyms
  • PCMCIA : People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
  • PENTIUM : Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
  • WWW : World Wide Wait
  • COBOL : Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
  • CD-ROM : Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months
  • OS/2 : Obsolete Soon, Too.
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